I’ve been to a loooot of 40th birthdays in the last couple of years. God, I’m old…
They are often tricky because, while the big 40 is definitely a milestone worth celebrating, many of us have children and other responsibilities that restrict how hard we can party. While we want to mark the occasion in style, we can’t just drop everything and go on a 3 day bender in London like we might have done for our 30th.
And not just because of the 2 week hangover.
Logistically it is a nightmare, financially it can be a strain, and as parents with limited childcare options… well, attending the same 40th birthday bash as your significant other can be nigh on impossible.
I wrote about my partner’s 40th in an article about difficult to buy for men, but with my own coming up soon (not telling you when 🙈) I wanted to revisit the subject with these tings in mind.
What Type of Celebration do you Want?
People often rush into thinking up birthday ideas, but do yourself a favour, first think about
Now obviously, what you decide to do will ultimately come down to the person who is turning 40 and your relationship with them. However, if you are involved in the planning of their big birthday then I can safely assume you are closer to them than most other people in their lives. So I will assume you are either family, close friend, or partner.
Now we come on to the type of person they are. You don’t want to throw a massive party for an introvert who hates loud music and crowds, for example. The way I see it, you can go down a few different routes with this:
- Intimate and Special
- Adventure and Travel
- Big Bash Celebrations
The intimate type of celebration would be with a few close friends, maybe family, or perhaps just with one other person such as a partner or lifelong friend.
Adventure and travel type celebrations would be more the size of a stag or hen do, say between 5 and 10 people. You would all go off and do something you wouldn’t otherwise experience.
The big bash celebrations are parties, where you invite loads of people to whatever event you have decided on. It could be a big family bash too.
This is how I categorise 40th birthday celebrations, and I will go into more details on each of them along with a few ideas below.
Intimate and Special
A celebration doesn’t have to be big a loud.
I think this would be my choice. Me and my fella don’t get nearly enough time together just the two of us, so I would love for him to take me away somewhere for a few days for my 40th. Let’s hope he reads my blog, hey!
One of my friends was whisked off to stay in a castle for the weekend for her 40th. A real castle 👸. It had beautiful grounds, the service was as posh as it gets, they had a masseuse, a swimming pool, activities, etc. They had a great time and she said it was really special precisely because it was just the two of them.
Other ideas might include:
- Private dinner party with closest friends. Private chef. Lots of wine.
- Visiting somewhere meaningful with your partner. Where you met, where you had your first date, etc.
- Getaway day. Some kind of unique experience suited to the person within an hour or two of home.
I’m deliberately not being too specific because this has to be something the birthday boy or girl will enjoy, and I don’t know them, you do. I sent my fella on a sword making workshop with three of his closest friends and they stayed the night at a pub that sold loads of real ales. It was perfect for him, but wouldn’t suit everybody.
Adventure and Travel
This category is probably going to be a bit pricier than the others, because it involves getting a larger number of people further away and probably for longer too.
One of my most recent 40th birthday invites was a week away in Benidorm, for example. It was great. We partied a bit, relaxed a lot, and got a tan. My fella’s best friend was taken back to Berlin with the boys to re-live his stag do. They were there Friday to Monday and from what I can gather they spent the whole time behaving like 21 year olds again.
It doesn’t have to be foreign travel though, you could go to the beaches in Cornwall, get a cottage in Yorkshire, visit a big city if you don’t already live in one. There are loads of UK based experience packages you could try too.
A guy I used to work with was booked onto a 3 day survival course with Ray Mears. Six of his friends went with him so it must have cost a bomb but what an experience. There are short SAS courses you can go on too, and spy academies.
I guess I would break this category into:
- Foreign holidays. The vibe can be whatever you need it to be, culture or chaos, but it involves getting on a plane at some point.
- UK breaks. As above. Probably shorter and cheaper. Just as much fun but not quite as much sun 😂😎
- Experiences. Hardcore stuff like paragliding and driving racing cars, or fun stuff like shooting a music video with the gang before heading off to an immersive cocktail experience.
It could be a few days worth of smaller stuff, but the key is to get away from where you live. You could take someone to do a stadium tour of the football team they support before watching a match, then go out in the evening and stay at a hotel. Perhaps the next day you visit a snooker hall because that’s how you met. Person specific stuff.
Whatever the details, you are getting away from home for up to a week to be together with a group of people that you love. You’ll probably still be paying for it in 6 months too…
Big Bash Party Celebrations
The traditional ‘throw them a party’ approach. There are different ways to do it though.
A 40th birthday party I really enjoyed started as a much more low key day. His wife took him to do a few fun things in the day with 4 of his friends, then told him they were going for cocktails before heading to a restaurant he loved. However, when he got to the cocktail bar the rest of us were waiting and he had a massive surprise. Before anyone got too drunk we watched a video of messages from all the people who couldn’t make it. Then the food came out and we all drank too much.
It had everything. He had a good day with his closest friends, he was surprised by the party, he had and sentimental moment with he video, then loads of fun into the early hours. He didn’t get to go to the restaurant he loved but I think he was ok with that lol.
However, maybe your birthday boy or girl isn’t into that sort of party. No problem. Not all parties need to be like that.
- Book a private room at a fancy restaurant and invite 10-15 of their closest friends and family.
- Have a big 40th birthday celebration at a pub or similar venue in town where it is nice and lively. Something for the grown ups.
- Hire a local venue, maybe a village hall type place, and invite friends and family plus their kids. A daytime do with food and booze and music and games, but it’s not a session.
That last type of party will probably take the most organising, but it’s perfect for people who are social yet aren’t really going out on the town types. You can make the room your own and run the party however you like. Quite cheap too!
Again, exactly how you organise the party will depends on the person turning 40: if they hate surprises don’t surprise them, if they love good food and the finer things in life don’t hire a church hall and put on a spread from Tesco.
Make it Work for You
I hope that’s been useful.
There are so many 40th birthday idea articles out there that just list all the obvious stuff, and I didn’t want to make another one of them. Instead, I have tried to help you think about your friend/partner/family member’s 40th birthday in a way that guides you to a conclusion.
You can pick the category that you think suits the person turning 40 best, then hopefully use the examples I have provided to narrow it down to the perfect way to celebrate that milestone birthday.
The most important thing to remember is that you know this person better than almost everyone else. So even if you don’t find the perfect idea on the internet, you can take someone else’s idea and change it to make it work for you.
Whatever you end up doing, make sure you have a great time! I will end with my favourite quote about turning 40:
“Turning 40 is realising that time flies, but you’re finally the pilot.”
Profound, huh?